First off what is stress, anxiety and depression?
- A feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.
- feelings of severe despondency and dejection: self-doubt creeps in and that swiftly turns to depression.
What is stress?
A state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or very demanding circumstances
How are you feeling, honestly?
I’m curious to know if nobody has asked, how are you feeling? I’m asking because sometimes we are so busy we don’t even sit back and realize there’s been no self-care done for ourself.
We walk past those we know everyday just to hear them say “im fine” when really they are hurting so bad inside and need for you to noice! I understand it’s so much easier to say “im great” then to tell the truth. Many won’t care anyway so why bother? The body can be “petty” and require some simple “me time” when it’s feeling neglegted.
Work, kids schedules, the significant other, friends, your continuing education, etc. you’re so worried about everybody else you havent figured out your not superwomen! Well let me rephrase that you know your not but your mind wants to try, it sounds like a challenge.
News Flash, you can’t overload your computer with viruses and not expect it to crash just like you can’t overload your brain without emtional or physical crashes.
Been where you are believe me it’s a dark loney place…
Everybody is depending on you therefor you don’t want to let them down. The fact then remains your ok letting yourself down, I totally get it. Taking time for you is a bathroom break, then back to where you left off. I have four kids and I’m always telling them “be patient with me, there are four of you and one of me.” The “stress” monster had a hold of my mind!
Ever stress so much mentally you get physically sick?
I have been there more than I would like to admit. I also realized how toxic my mind gets when I fall into that routine. I tend to end up with stress triggers like fatigue, headaches, cold symptoms, upset stomach…ya know “the norm.”
I used to head on over to the good doc and he would take good care of me by putting me on an antidepressant that goes right to work on my already fragile brain…like scrambled eggs on sunday morning.
You think… “Could I be getting worst?”
I mean it attacks nerotransmitters you need to be functioning for alertness, learning, and thinking. The meds put them right to sleep. O’ no now the body is all confused and out of order! You have dementia symptoms, you become more depressed, your thyroid stops working, your body is storing everything as fat which just makes things worst.
Stress is chipping away at you and its starting to reflect on the outside as well…
Here goes the Anxiety kicking in…I thought the doctor was going to fix everything with the pill prescribed. I thought it would go right to work on my symptoms like the commercial showed!
Is it possible my body is different, my condition is different, my symptoms are caused by something different? Well the doctor talked for five minutes, I talked for five minutes and it took five minutes to check in, times up! I hate to be the barrier of bad news but everything your experiencing is going to take more time to figure out than that.
Again the body is only confused because you are trying to treat the problem with poison (all meds are poison). Of course the docs don’t say it that way, how would they make passive income?
We must try to fix the problem ourselves, get to the root of the problem ya know! Your doctor is there to treat your symptoms, not solve the problem so that it no longer exists.
This is where your self care comes into play. I always tell my patients nobody knows your body better than you do. Stress is tearing you apart but with some self care you can find yourself again.
Change can be so beautiful but sound scary!
Somebody or something in your life has got to be causing the stress. If you want to change your mood you have to change your situation first. Change is scary but many times neccessary for a healthy mind.
A healthy mind is neccessary for a healthy body. See how that works. People are out here on multiple meds, drugs, alcohol, addicted to food all that just because there living situation is “toxic.” So afraid of what others may think or what may happen if you leave or change anything. Realize, your slowly killing yourself.
What is more important?
Basically comes down to two results…you being alive or you being dead.
Here are some examples of people or things you may want to change or fall back from ASAP!
- Memory hoarding (keeping familiar things such as furniture, letters, pictures).
Focus like you’ve been given x-ray vision…
Start by focusing on yourself everyone will be fine without you for a while. If work is a problem go to your doctor and get the paper work filled out such as an fmla (family medical leave act).Click for more info regarding fmla That paper will protect your job while you deal with stress. Someone you trust can keep the kids.
Do whatever you need to help yourself calm down and relax, that is step 1.
- Take a bath Shamara’s #lovethyselffirst stress evaporating bath🙌🏾
- Run a diffuser with lavender
- Talk to someone such as a friend, relative or counselor
- Create a goal list and three ways to complete each goal
- Go take a walk w/ headphones and your favorite jams (create a playlist)
- MeditateMeditate your Daily Stress Away
- Take a nap
- Use natural stress relief products
- Take a peaceful drive
- Stop saying start doing
- Write a positivity checklist for yourself
- Go to YouTube and find stress relief music, listen
- Get a massage
- Sit in a jacuzzi
- Detox from social media
- Cry (this is a natural pain reliever)
- Go to the gym
- Go camping be one with nature
- Create a journal, write down your thoughts and feelings
- Have a girls night w/ close friends (dinner, wine & laughter)
The collapse is real…
Heard of a mid-life crisis, emotional breakdown, psychotic behavior? We just let the stress pile up until the brain says enough and acts out like a two-year-old who hasn’t had a nap in a week! Can you imagine? Everything starts to go wrong!! I’ll just list a few catastrophes.
- Change in menstrual period
- Blurred vision
- High blood pressure
- Memory loss
- Change in weight
- Upset stomach
- Hair loss
- Heart attack symptoms
That’s not even the half of it! Stress can and will kill you if you dont take control. People really do die of broken hearts so be careful who you allow into your life. Stress will cause something like diabetes to become life-threatening and very complicated. How can your body fight when you have allowed it to be weakened, it’s defenseless and constantly under attack.
Change can only happen if you allow it…
I understand change is very hard but sometimes it’s vital to survival. I had to leave my home town at 28 because I let someone toxic in my life at 15. That meant saying good-bye to everyone I loved dearly except my kids. Once you get to the point where you can’t think, your filled with rage, and you hate your life “your experation date is way past its experation date.” Some of us like to call it a ” breaking point.”
We all have choices we just don’t all choose wisely. They say if you love someone you should let them go but if you had to let them go in the first place something wasn’t right. They say “go with your first instinct”, well it isn’t always correct. They also say ” be a leader not a follower.” I say it’s your call, your life, your mental health…your decision.
Your only alone if your embarrassed or your ego’s on steroids…
The important thing to understand is there is a wealth of support services, agencies, and just general help in any area you live in. Why do you think this is? Well apparently you are not alone in your situation, people out there just like you are having to make life-changing decisions on a daily basis. So much so that “help” agencies have been placed all around the world.
Nobody has to know unless you tell them, I have stopped speaking to my family because in order to help myself I had to leave my past behind. I really don’t need help remembering my shortcomings, that I’m not perfect, or that I’m struggling…believe me I am fully aware! This is the reason I couldn’t move on, they constantly reminded me of what I was trying to forget. They were constantly throwing my cries for help in my face.
Speaking of family…
In my situation the people that hurt me the worst I called “family.”
I would reach out thinking they’ll help or give me some great solutions that may help. Unfortunatly when I did they put me down and talked about me to the rest of the family. Guess what, my strength prepared me for that so they can keep that same energy once my situation improves.
You walk into an agency and say “I need help,” no judgment they ask “how may I help you?” These people are trained to understand you need positive vibes, hope, encouragement, an ear to listen to, someone who cares or atleast pretends to care about how your feeling (ya know the stuff family doesn’t do).
Not classifying all family…
Some people have great family support but they are still judgmental and again, the last thing you need when your already climbing an uphill battle. I like to believe I am special, important, beautiful, highly favored, a queen…even at my worst. I’ll give anybody my last and here I was surrounded by a bunch of leeches that would actually take it.
Im going to repeat this…
Again, accept help from someone who specializes in your particular situation, this way you can avoid a bunch of unneeded stress and jump right into seeing positive results. Your also surrounded by others that are going through similar situations if not worst.
Remember nobody can fix it but you so be confident and reinforce positive thoughts! Remain clear of energy drainers and those in secret competition with you.
My personal go to’s for stress management…
Eat but proceed with caution every thing’s tainted…
We are all struggling or suffering in one way or another some just hide it better than others. So many people are hurting on the inside but on the outside others are envious of these people. I always tell my kids “worry about yourself.” “love thyself offensively” “be grateful for your blessings.” “Who are you to judge?” “Negative energy feeds a negative mind” Positive energy feeds a positive mind.” A negative person can feed a positive person but a positive person becomes sick when fed negativity.”
Steer clear & avoid the epidemic…
Too many people out there wanting what others have, it’s a sickening, sad, embarrassing degree of hate & toxicity for all exposed to feel. Yes, hatred and jealousy are diseases and they are very contagious.